"You're allowed to be humiliating, degrading and hurtful. I'm allowed to petition you to at least recognize what you say and be aware of the option you have to stop." Tim Shriver

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Hypocrisy of the 2012 Oscars - The F-Word Is Not Acceptable, But The R-Word Is

Brett Ratner, known for directing X-Men and Tower Heist  was originally slotted for the position as the producer of the 2012 Academy Awards.  In November 2011, while screening his film Tower Heist, a member of the audience asked him what the rehearsals were like for the film.  Ratner replied, "Rehearsal?  What's that?  Rehearsal's for f*gs.  Rehearsal.  Not much.  A lot of prep, preparation, complex action sequences, visual effects." 


UP: Brett Ratner


GLAAD quickly condemned the statement and following meetings with GLAAD and community outrage, Ratner abruptly resigned as the producer of the 2012 Oscars.  GLAAD went on to say, "Hollywood has the power and responsibility to grow acceptance of all communities," said GLAAD Acting President Mike Thompson.  "We look forward to working with Ratner and the industry in promoting positive, culture-changing images of our community and sending a message that such slurs, used to belittle gay and lesbian youth and adults every day, have no place in mainstream popular culture or the industry that creates it."


Ratner released a statement saying, “I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb and outdated way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words."


Academy President, Tom Sherak responded with this statement, "He did the right thing for the Academy and for himself.  Words have meaning, and they have consequences. Brett is a good person, but his comments were unacceptable. We all hope this will be an opportunity to raise awareness about the harm that is caused by reckless and insensitive remarks, regardless of the intent."


Here is where I start to have some issues with the Academy.  Sometimes people slip up and say words.  They say words that they didn't mean to say.  Mean words.  Words that as Tom Sherak says, 'have meaning...and...consequences."  In this case, Ratner used the f*g word.  It was not a rehearsed moment.  He answered a question and used a cruel word in his response.  Do I think the f*g word is disgusting-- completely.  I think that like the R-word, it is cruel, demeaning and never used in a kind or gentle manner.   


But what about when such hateful and cruel words are in films?  Words that hurt millions of people who suffer from some kind of disability.  Words that have been purposefully placed in a movie and that are kept in a movie.  Words that have been rehearsed.  Words that someone wrote, someone directed and someone said. 


What I have a major problem reconciling is the purposeful use of such slurs in movies.  My issue is this.  Movies first have to be written.  Sometimes they are a book in their first form, like The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings.  Then there is a screenplay.  Then there is a director.  Then there are actors.  All along the way, each cog in this machine reviews, reads, analyzes and finalizes the words of the screenplay that are then used to create the movie.  Finally, even after all of these people have finalized a movie, it still has to go in front of the Motion Picture Association of America to assign the film a rating.  


This year the 84the Academy Awards have bestowed a number of nominations on not one, but two movies that have purposefully used a disability slur.  Not a gay slur like Brett Ratner used, but a disability slur.  Yep-- the R-word.  Retarded.  


The Descendants (which I scathingly reviewed here) earned 5 Oscar nominations (including one for Writing/Adapted Screenplay and Best Picture).  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close earned 2 Oscar nominations (including one for Best Picture).  


Here is a summary of the scene in The Descendants-- (as a disclaimer-- I tried to memorize the scene as best I could and am also including this segment from the novel) as I first described it back in November:


          I really enjoy George Clooney.  It's actually a touching and powerful movie.  I was shocked       when in the middle of it, George Clooney's character, Matt King says to Nick Krause's character, Sid something to the effect of (I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember word for word) "You are so retarded."

I looked at my husband.  He looked at me.  He knows how I feel about this.  Would I be able to make it through this movie?

That's when the character Sid replies, "That's not nice.  I have a retarded brother."

Matt looks shocked.  

I was shocked.  My husband and I looked at each other again.  Could this be a teaching point? A lesson in the middle of this movie?  No such luck.

Sid goes on to say, "I'm just kidding.  I don't have a retarded brother.  Sometimes when old people and retarded people are slow I just want to make them hurry up......" 




Here are the actual lines from the book The Descendants:


"Stop it," I yell.  "Stop touching each other."
"Whoa," Sid says.  "Maybe that's why your wife cheated on you if you're so against touching."
I snap my head around to face him.  "Do you get hit a lot?"
He shrugs, "I've had my share."
I face my daughter, "You know you're dating a complete retard.  You know that, don't you?"
"My brother's retarded, man." Sid says.  "Don't use it in a derogatory way."

"Oh."  I don't say anything more hoping he'll interpret my silence as an apology.
"Psych," he says and now kicks the back of my seat.  "I don't have a retarded brother!"  His little trick is giving him a great amount of amusement.  "Speaking of the retarded," he says, "do you ever feel bad for wishing a retarded person or an old person or a disabled person would hurry up? Sometimes I wait for them to cross the street and I'm like, 'Come on already!' but then I feel bad. 



In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close there is a point where the young boy who plays the main character, Oskar Schell, explains that he has been tested for and possibly has Asperger's.  For this reason alone I really didn't expect to hear the R-word used in this Oscar nominated film.  In the scene it is used in, Oskar Schell, played by Thomas Horn, is arriving back at the New York City apartment he lives in with his parents.  He goes to use the stairs and Stan the Doorman, played by John Goodman says (as best as I can remember), "The elevator works, genius."  To which, Oskar replies, "I know, retard." 


Really?  Again?  This is literally the fifth movie in the past six months that I have seen in the movie theater that uses the R-word. The Change Up, Larry Crowne and Friends With Benefits  also all use the R-word in them.  Where is the Academy now?  Why isn't the Academy president Tom Sherak using those same words he used when Brett Ratner said the word f*g?  Why isn't Tom Sherak saying, "Words have meaning, and they have consequences. . .We all hope this will be an opportunity to raise awareness about the harm that is caused by reckless and insensitive remarks, regardless of the intent"?


And as Brett Ratner said, "But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words."


Where is the opportunity to raise awareness about the harmful and hurtful effects of using disability slurs against innocent individuals who happen to have some kind of disability?  I guess as far as the Academy of Motion Pictures is concerned, disability slurs don't have consequences only gay slurs do.  


What if that scene in The Descendants  used the f*g word (a word that I also think is deplorable and hateful) instead of "retard"?  What if the scene that was in the movie was this:


"Stop it," I yell.  "Stop touching each other."
"Whoa," Sid says.  "Maybe that's why your wife cheated on you if you're so against touching."
I snap my head around to face him.  "Do you get hit a lot?"
He shrugs, "I've had my share."
I face my daughter, "You know you're dating a complete f*g.  You know that, don't you?"
"My brother's a f*g, man." Sid says.  "Don't use it in a derogatory way."

"Oh."  I don't say anything more hoping he'll interpret my silence as an apology.
"Psych," he says and now kicks the back of my seat.  "I don't have a fa**ot brother!"  His little trick is giving him a great amount of amusement.  "Speaking of f*gs," he says, "do you ever feel bad for wishing a f*g or an old person or a disabled person would hurry up? Sometimes I wait for them to cross the street and I'm like, 'Come on already!' but then I feel bad. 


I wonder how the Academy would feel about that.  Would the movie have still received 5 nominations including one for Writing and one for Best Picture?


And what if the scene in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close went like this:


"The elevator works, genius."  To which, Oskar replies, "I know, f*g." 


It just makes me wonder.  The Academy has gone to an extreme length to publicly show that it does not support the use of a gay slur.  Why can't they recognize that disability slurs are just as hurtful?


You may ask--why does it even matter.  It matters because every single movie we go to I sit with baited breath and wonder if there will be a disability slur.  Will someone in the movie call someone else a "retard" or use some version of that word?  I worry for the other people in the theater.  We were at a movie a couple of weeks ago and behind us was a family.  In that family was a woman who was about in her mid-50's who had Down syndrome.  I spent the entire movie worrying that the R-word would be in it and that she would hear it.  The movie, Contraband ended up not using the R-word in it and it was a fast-paced and enjoyable thriller and I was able to finally exhale when we walked out.


I've said this before, but as an attorney I completely understand the right to free speech.  As Tim Shriver so eloquently appealed to Stephen Colbert and his viewers, "You're allowed to be humiliating, degrading and hurtful.  I'm allowed to petition you to at least recognize what you say and be aware of the option you have to stop."

14 comments:

  1. Great post, thanks for sharing! re-posted on my facebook. Was thinking the same thing when I watched The Descendants....

    Nikki
    www.onetinystarfish.blogspot.com

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    1. Nikki-- thank you for re-posting. We just need to keep spreading the word! Respect for all! Many thanks!!!

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  2. I don't mean to be a devil's advocate, I truly believe in this cause and have made working for the developmentally disabled my life's work, but I have two problems with this post. One is that the comparison doesn't work. You are comparing something that someone said in public, in real life to something that someone said in a movie. When I hear a word that I disagree with using I look at it in context. The Descendants in based on a novel that a woman wrote about her own life. It is perfectly plausible that someone, twenty years ago had that conversation and it was perfectly normal and socially acceptable. I would have a problem with a movie based in modern times if intelligent people were calling blacks the n word. If it was a movie based in the 1800's that would be a different story. The second movie example I do have a problem with, I haven't seen either movie, but from the synopses it seems as if that one should be more up to date that the first. I personally believe that if Ratner had used the r word in his statement rather than the f word it would have had the same ramifications. Also, if what he said had been in a tv show or movie no one would have batted an eye.

    Unfortunately, art reflects society, and currently society doesn't have enough of a problem with this word. Every time someone I know uses it I inform them of the error of their ways. I think that the best response to the use of that word in mainstream media would be to write the studios. If it gets to the proper people, and they get enough input maybe editors will be more aware of the gravity of it. Perhaps we could make an online petition. I have seen amazing things happen with those. I would definitely be among the first to sign. Perhaps we could also make it so that each time a person signs it sends an email to the studios, if the signer wishes. Enough public outcry and they will get the picture!

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    1. Miriam-- thanks for your thoughts. I agree-- these are two different cases, but as I point out, a real human being who just blurts something out requires a lot less foresight and planning than an actual movie that has an A-list star using the R-word. That is my point-- that the Academy is not okay with someone blurting a type of a slur out, in this case, the f*g word, but seemingly is okay with the R-word being used. In both cases, in my humble opinion, the use of the R-word in both of these movies was completely unnecessary. It did not advance the plot or the characters in any way, In The Descendants we already know that Nick and Sid are both kind of out of touch and irreverent characters. I agree- the online petitions are very powerful. Perhaps that would be a means to get attention? I would also like to see the MPAA notate where the R word is used in movies so that I could choose not to pay to go see those films. Thanks again for your thoughts!

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  3. The use of a word in a movie is not in itself a reason to not like, or to feel animosity toward, a movie or the people in it. Movies are filled with characters representing every sort of human personality. In real life, there are "good" people who don't use offensive words, and there are those types of characters in movies, also. In real life, there are people who innocently use offensive words, and there are people who intentionally use offensive words. The same is true in movies. Movies should not be expected to be idealized representations of perfect worlds - except maybe for Disney cartoons. Filmmakers - actors, directors, producers, etc. - create films for any number of reasons, and some of them are accurate depictions of the world we live in, some are stylized or shaded by specific perspective, and some are all-out fantasy. As a gay man, it doesn't bother me if a character uses a gay slur, so long as it is in keeping with that character's personality. The real world is never going to be the perfect place you clearly long for; movies, as a mirror of our world, shouldn't be expected to be so, either. Also, there's a difference between Brett Ratner (he's a real person in our real world) and a character (who is not real) in a movie (that is not real).

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    1. Dear Anonymous-- I respectfully disagree. I'm not looking for a "perfect" world as you say, I'm just looking for a respectful world in which the movies do not feel it is necessary to use the R-word because of the many, many people who suffer from intellectual disabilities. As I state-- I agree that anyone has the right to use the word, but I have the right to petition them to consider not using it. Thanks for your thoughts and insight.

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    2. Dear anonymous, quit making excuses. There should be a responsibility of the writers, producers, directors, actors etc to put out positive uplifting self esteem building material NOT demeaning, damaging material in order to make money. I had this conversation with my Down syndrome son just two nights ago when he was talking about a movie he'd just bought and heard the use of the R-word in it. I told him it's not the actors fault who are just trying to do their job so they can make a living. As wise as he is he said "well actors are in charge of what they will and will not do, they have the power to just simply refuse to use that word, if I was an actor I would". All I could say to him, you know you are right: we must stand by our beliefs and take a stand against something we truly believe in. You can take that stand by not purchasing the movies and keep educating people by how it makes you feel when you hear the R-word being used" unfortunately we do not know the word is being used in a movie until after we buy and watch it. PLEASE STOP MAKING EXCUSES!Join our effort to educate Hollywood and advocate for the intellectually disabled.

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  4. my brother really does have a disability. he was born with downs syndrome and autism and is now 14. my parents watched the change-up (or at least started to) until they heard the r-word. the people also had said (something like) " that kid looks Downsy" since then, we have not finished the movie and we have warned others about it too. this is a great site you have. Thank You!!!!!! :)

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    1. The Change Up was so horribly offensive. I was sick when I saw that movie. Thank you for advocating for your brother and thank you for commenting!

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  5. Thank you for writing this. I am happy the R word campaign picked it up. My advocacy against this started 15 years ago with Howard Stern and Bill Mahr. We really haven't progressed significantly but their careers surely have...while we watched.... Our parent organizations write the same form letters and we get a half assed apology every now and again. Then the business of using the R word for media attention continues. You gotta wonder why our organizations don't have the same vigor as GLAAD? It is unfortunately naive of people to think a letter writing campaign will work or that correcting a slur will make a big change. One of these offenders need to pay in the same way as Brett Ratner. We need to set a precedent that we have had enough. The old guard of our organizations like NDSS and NDSC need to get out of inside politics and get into working for the people they serve. The attitude starts in the language. People with intellectual disabilities deserve nothing less than equal respect in language and action.

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    1. Thank you for your advocacy, Rachel! I agree! We need to keep informing, educating and empowering. I so strongly believe that words have power and words set the tone for how to treat humans. Thank you again for your advocacy.

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  6. BTW in the trailer for The Delimma staring Vince Vaughn directed by Ron Howard a character says "electic cars are gay". GLAAD swiftly went into action and the trailer was altered. Ultimately, Ron Howard said he was keeping it in the film but he agreed that the trailer should be changed.

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  7. In "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist", Seth Meyers has a cameo in which he tells a woman that "I love you so much, it's r-word." Also, The Black Eyed-Peas have a song called "Let's Get R-word." I've never expected anything close to intelligence of The Black Eyed-Peas, but that blows me away.

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  8. YES!!!Finally a great coverage on this subject of the R-word being used in movies, TV series in productions. I have a son with Down syndrome who is totally devastated every time he sees or hears the use of the R-word in a movie he's spent his hard earned money on. When we see a theater showing a movie which uses the R-word in it he asks me to go meet with the manager of the theater so he can tell them not to show that movie. He's passionate about getting writers, producers, actors to listen to the pain and suffering they cause by the use of it in their productions just so they can have monetary gain to add to their millions they already have. Our children with disabilities and low income spend a fortune on movies, music, and numerous hours in front of the TV because they have no other escape since many of them don't drive or have friends who pick them up and take them out. It isn't just Hollywood that feels it's OK to use such hurtful word in their productions believe it or not even the closest family members like fathers or mothers or siblings etc make excuses when they hear the R-word used. Stop making excuses people!! Our lives are difficult enough raising our disabled children with self esteem, confidence, and happy why should you make it harder for us by tearing them down with the use of such cruel word. It's damaging so stop it already!

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